Monday, March 3, 2014

Father Of The Bride: Vincente Minnelli **


An unpleasantly dull conservative manifesto solely blaming the young generation for all of their elders' misfortunes during important life-changing events.

Porco Rosso : Hayao Miyazaki *** 1/2


A Fellini-esque autobiographical comedy delights with fantastic planes, lovable characters, absurd premise, comical undertakings and unique perspectives on life.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Attention For A Restoration!

 This website has gone under some unfortunate changes, and it has been sadly neglected by this writer in favor of its twin, Classic Cinema Reviews For Kids. So, to give it a happy ending, I've decided to make it a rip-off of Nate's Mini Reviews, by reviewing all of the movies that I've seen from my notorious shame list plus others that I've already seen before but I want to discuss them anyway. Stay tuned for an exciting revision! :)

Thursday, April 4, 2013

A Memorial To Roger Ebert

         The world has lost a great artist today. An hour ago, CNN reported that famed film critic Roger Ebert died from cancer at age 70. Yes, that Roger Ebert. He was my personal role model. I remember being a passionate fan of his television show, Roger Ebert Presents At The Movies, and I will always remember reading his beloved reviews and books. In a sense, he was the critic that I always looked up to. In fact, nearly every critic has stolen from Roger Ebert as he was one of the greatest,if not the greatest film critic ever. He also inspired not only me , but a lot of people. Why? He sadly lost his voice due to that pesky disease called cancer several years ago. However, he temporarily went back on the job, reviewing movies for The Chicago Sun Times. Seeing him keep doing the career that he deeply loved despite all that suffering made me realize that humanity will always overcome hardship to achieve the impossible. I sympathize with his family, especially the magnificent Chaz Ebert, as I tearfully let The Nostalgia Critic remember the glory days of his successful run with Gene Siskel from 1975-1999.
    WARNING: If you don't like foul language or offensive humor, please note that I'm not an advocate for those things. Also, I do not own this video as it rightfully belongs to Doug Walker, the creator of the character known as the Nostalgia Critic. (Yes, he was too influenced by Roger's work.) 15 minutes of crying later...
Now, Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert will be hopefully reviewing movies in heaven. May God be with their families and their souls. With that said, good night. :(

                              ROGER EBERT 1942-2013 

We Love You, Roger. Thank you for your passion of film. See ya, later. 

Friday, March 22, 2013

My Speech For Best Buddies

     Guess who? I had such a fun time making my speech with my new friend, Stephanie. I hope you are inspired by it. :) By the way, I'll post the transcript soon. Until then, take care.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Top 15 Guilty Pleasures That I Had In My Childhood :(


Dear Transformers and Twilight fans who happen to be children,
       Most adults and older teens have this embarrassing secret that they often refuse to share with anyone else. Why? The reason is because they were once children, and they got emotionally connected with a movie. They would often love that movie, and they would watch it all the time. And when I mean loved, I mean that they obsessed over it. They loved the VHS tape or DVD of it to life. They would often claim that it was their favorite movie, and they would never get tired of it.  Every time that they watched scenes of that movie, their hearts would have a special gleam of wonder in it.
      Time passes on, and the child grows into an adult. One day, he or she finds that loved tape/DVD. Finding out that it's a movie that they enjoyed as a kid, they drop everything and watch it. They are hoping for a cinematic masterpiece that they would show to their kids. However, the movie turns out to be a piece of junk. The adult watcher gets so sickened by their past opinion that they come to loathe the wicked thing. Eventually, it becomes a guilty secret that no one must know.
        If you thought I was talking about the good family movies, go to your room and never come out!. For those movies actually stay wonderful when that child grows into adulthood, and they reveal so  much about why humans love movies. The good ones are transcending experiences that give the human spirit a leap of joy. Most importantly, the adults will find out that their great childhood favorite actually gets better the older they get. There are numerous examples of this genre that do the job well. I'm not talking about those.
     I'm talking about these guys. To help illustrate my point, here are some of the movies that I loved as a kid, but now I throw up at the sight of it. Here we go down horrid memory lane. :( Don't judge me!

#15.  Space Jam (1996)  Rotten Tomatoes Score: 35%  Notable: Ruining Looney Tunes Forever!
#14.  Scooby-Doo (2002) RT Score: 30%  Notable: Scooby-Doo Is Performing Assault! 
#13.  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 (1993) RT Score: 27%  Notable: Horrible Special Effects!
 #12. Barney's Great Adventure (1998) RT Score: 26% Notable: It Ruined Barney Forever! 
#11. Thumbelina (1994)  RT Score: 25%  Notable: Horrible Songs With Terrible Lyrics! 

#10.  Flubber (1997) RT Score: 23%  Notable: Flubber Should Never Dance Ever Again!

#09.  The Flintstones (1994) RT Score: 22%  Notable: The Flintstones' Big Screen Debut! :( 
#08.  Jack Frost (1998) RT Score: 20% Notable: Michael Keaton As A Snowman..... Hate! 
#07. Tom And Jerry: The Movie (1993) RT Score: 20% Notable: Tom And Jerry Talk! :(
#06.  Jingle All The Way (1996) RT Score: 17% Notable: Arnold In A Bad Christmas Movie :(
#05.  Jack (1996) RT Score: 17% Notable: Francis Ford Coppola Directed It... Just No!
#04.  Blank Check (1994) RT Score: 14% Notable: I Forgot What This Movie Was About. :( 
#03. The Pebble And The Penguin (1995) RT Score: 11% Notable: Happy Feet If It Was Scum! 
#02. Kazaam (1996) RT Score: 4% Notable: Shaq As A Rapping Genie..... Triple Hatred For It!
#01. A Kid In King Arthur's Court (1995) RT Score: 0% Notable: A Slap To Kids' Intelligence! 
The Moral: Watch Old Movies And Great Movies. Or Else, You'll Get Crap Like These! HATE! HATE! HATE! (10 minutes later) One day, you'll realize that Twilight and Transformers were awful, and you should have watched the black and white ones instead. It's not late, so check them out now for you'll have a more fun time watching them and soaking in knowledge about life and humanity.
 From Matthew.
P.S. This was a joke review because I haven't had any time to start writing on old movies. I'm so sorry for not starting on them, but in the meanwhile, I hope that you'll enjoy this. :) Ha! Ha! Revenge!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

EXTRA! EXTRA! New Horizons For The Blog.....

       
 You have noticed that my last post was strange as it had nothing to do with what I'm usually known to write about, which is movies. Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that this blog will no longer focus to movies anymore. Why? It's because another blog of mine, Classic Cinema Reviews For Kids, has been dedicated to that job already and I'm also bored at reviewing current movies when other people are doing that job perfectly. My heart isn't into reviewing current movies anymore, so I've decided to stop doing it on this site.
     That doesn't mean that this blog's going away. In fact, I've got something better in mind. The good news is that this blog will now be an account of what I'm doing in my life and how I'm responding to it. I have come up with more ideas on what to do, and I'm excited to share them with the world.