Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Entry on Homework
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Entry:
Homework
By Matthew Floyd for Mr. Tromble's class 11/13/12
Earthlings are
well known for creating stupid inventions that other extraterrestrial beings with superior
knowledge will laugh at, as being either too cruel or too childish. As of this
time of this current publication, only one invention has been identified as
both cruel and childish at the same time. That invention has been called homework by
Earthlings. Homework can come in many formats. It can be a simple
piece of paper that asks ridiculously hard questions on a simple lesson or it can
be a big piece of paper known as a project that tells what that subject is to a
bunch of people who already know what the heck it is. Despite its many
forms, homework still has the same purpose, which is to teach the young about
the subject that they recently learned about. While completing, they are expected to do so without their teacher’s help
or their understanding on the subject. This in theory should help the child
learn the lesson by heart. The truth of the matter is that it causes the child
to become illegally insane with anxiety attacks, abuse, stress, over excess of
sweat, curved spines, loss of imagination, sudden gain of adulthood, and a hatred towards
teachers or parents. It may also cause the child to resent school and be opposed to the system.
Upon completion of their education, the students receive a shiny piece of paper that tells
their future employer that they survived school and they need a job. Therefore, the
child has grown into an adult and decides to be proud of homework for he thinks
that working on it helped him earn that shiny piece of paper. (Other alien races have determined that homework had nothing to do with gaining a love for learning and remembering. Sadly, they're too polite to spoil the Earthling's shallow realization on homework.) The Earthling decides to
celebrate by forcing people younger than himself to do homework, therefore making the
cycle go on and on until the Earth was blown up by the Voogons. Fortunately,
a similar pratice of homework has caused bloody student rebellions on other planets, so the practice has been replaced with the child receiving a programmable memory implant attached to their hand called computerization.
Upon completion of their education, the students receive a shiny piece of paper that tells
their future employer that they survived school and they need a job. Therefore, the
child has grown into an adult and decides to be proud of homework for he thinks
that working on it helped him earn that shiny piece of paper. (Other alien races have determined that homework had nothing to do with gaining a love for learning and remembering. Sadly, they're too polite to spoil the Earthling's shallow realization on homework.) The Earthling decides to
celebrate by forcing people younger than himself to do homework, therefore making the
cycle go on and on until the Earth was blown up by the Voogons. Fortunately,
a similar pratice of homework has caused bloody student rebellions on other planets, so the practice has been replaced with the child receiving a programmable memory implant attached to their hand called computerization. 
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