Summer Preview 2012 Part I

Tim and Moby from Brainpop are just excited to see these ba.. I mean good movies.

           Yeah! Summer's almost here! Well, at least for Hollywood. (For now.) The summer season, or the time to release big budgeted films to make millions of dollars, will begin on May 4th with The Avengers! Sadly, I'm not going to review that one for I didn't get to see the other films about superheroes. I'm guessing that they will reveal more about the heroes, which will be crucial to the plot of the movie, and I'm not going to Wikipedia to find them out. However, anything can happen for I previously had no intention to see and review The Hunger Games. ( Of course, an associate of mine came towards me, and pleaded me to go see it. Thanks a lot, guys.) Maybe one of them will beg me to review that movie. You'll just have to wait and see. Or you could comment below.
              Anyway, here's the other films that will fill up the month of May along with both my mom and my predictions. Enjoy.
May
 4:  The Avengers : I have no intention of seeing it for reasons above. If I do see it, I hope it's not a disappointment like most of the films last summer. However, I do like a good action flick from time to time, so maybe this one wouldn't suck. Predicted Grade: I have no idea, but I hope it's higher than B+. My mom's predicted grade: A+ (She really loves action movies.)
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel: This looks an inspirational British comedy drama about several British retirees going to India and changing their lifestyles. My only concern is that it might have too many characters in it that the director doesn't care how to connect them together in a story, just like Contagion last year. (Only that had people dying not thriving.) Predicted Grade: B+  My mom's predicted grade: B+
11: Dark Shadows:  To be honest, I have only seen one Tim Burton movie, and that was 2005's Charlie And The Chocolate Factory. I sort of liked it, but I thought the director messed up the essential book and original movie by adding in way too dark moments to it. However, I've been trying to find time to watch his other films. Sadly, life has been unfair to me for I often forget to watch one of his other movies. (Please help!) This one looks kind of fun in its dark, twisted way with smuggled messages about family and love. However, I'm usually scared by dark films like this, and sometimes the jokes/story are too weak. But hey, it has Johnny Depp, whom I've heard that he is going to play Dr. Seuss pretty soon, so I would have to get used to him.  Predicted Grade: B- or C+. My mom's predicted grade: She has no idea, but definitely higher than C. (She thinks this is weird.)
18: Battleship: No! No! Why did Hollywood had to mess up one of the great board games ever?!? Here's how:  Just Make a movie based on a classic non weird military game, and have bloodthirsty/ unfairly portrayed racist aliens play the humans in a game of it. I'm not kidding. Predicted Grade: D for stupid dog .. wait doesn't JeremyJahns own this rating. D'oh! My mom's predicted grade: A+ (Even her common sense loves action movies.)
25: Men In Black 3: Since Hollywood is borrowing story lines from movies that have basically the same story as each other, I've decided to borrow this statement from Lights Camera Jackson, who stated that  "J goes back in time to 1969 where he meets a younger K ...and guess what? - There's another alien invasion!" This quote read my mind for I think the idea's overdone, stupid, unoriginal and simply not funny! If an alien invasion took place back then, most of the current "Earthlings" wouldn't be alive today for their parents/grandparents would be apparently dead!Holy cow! Predicted Grade:  D+. Sorry, Will Smith, but if this preview is right, I might have to cry. My mom's predicted grade: No intention of seeing it at all, but probably from her look on her face when she saw the trailer, a C-.
25: Moonrise Kingdom: Finally an independent film that I hope doesn't suck like these other previous two. Here's a funny film which has an original plot, great acting, fantastic music, impressionistic cinematography, and it happens to be directed by Wes Anderson, whom I've never seen a movie of his. I'm not kidding, and just like Tim Burton, I always do not have enough time to watch any of his movies. But, here's my chance to see one up close! Predicted Grade: A- My mom's predicted grade: B
           The last movie I previewed seems to be evidence for Christy Lemire's opinion that modern Hollywood is falling flat on its face with its movies, while non-Hollywood features are becoming better and more memorable as the years go by. Case in point: I'm so excited to see two films being released here in May. One is First Position , which is a documentary about this ballet contest that is super important to the young people attending it. The other is The Intouchables. No, it has nothing to do with the Brian De Palma film. Instead, it's about this loving relationship between this really sick man and his caretaker. These movies' trailers are just stunning to watch that they are masterpieces. So far.

The Hunger Games (2012) B

May The Odds Ever Be... Oh Shut Up!

                   I'm not a fan of sports. To me, they involve competition and it advocates that in order to win you have to beat the heck out of someone or pulverize another team. I'm not that type of blood thirsty person. Sadly, our entire culture devotes itself to that kind of bleep. Sorry that I had to say it because it's true when you consider the fact that a very popular movie has the plot of a whole country obsessed with a fatal sport. It's called Fun-In-A-Box from The Cat In The Hat. Just kidding. It's really called The Hunger Games from Suzanne Collin's book of the same name.
            To be honest with you, I haven't read the books. I just found them too gruesome and they're not my cup of tea. In fact, I would probably wouldn't have watched this if you guys didn't tell me to review this. So let's get started.
            After a catastrophic war  destroys North America, a new nation comprised of twelve districts emerge from its ruins to be called Panam. (No relation to the airplane industry that was ahead of my time.) Sadly, all of the districts are ruled by the insanely rich/evil Capitol. How evil is it? Well for starters, it decrees that every year, every district will send "one courageous man and woman" to an arena where they will  all fight to death on a televised show. (In other words, it's like if The Truman Show, The Most Dangerous Game, 1984,The Minotaur Myth, The Lottery, and basically every adventure story were invited to party where Battle Royale was its theme.) Simple really.
          Anyway, Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) volunteers to go fight when her sister, Primrose, is chosen. What follows is her preparation and training for the big battle, which happens for half of the movie. She also falls in love with her fellow tribute named Peeta (Josh Hutcherson). Then, the battle begins, and I pose this question to you: Will she live or will she die? If she lives, does that mean that she have to watch her love one die?
          To say it again,  I've never been a fan of the original book, since it was too disturbing for my taste. Yet, I love the fact that kids are willing to think about issues even more. Issues like feminism, religion, class system, governments, war, and of course how they will get over the fact that Suzanne Collins used to write for the popular T.V. series, Little Bear. (I'm not kidding on the last statement.)
               I hate the way that in the beginning, the director decided to use hand-hand camera , which really is annoying. No one wants to feel seasick from the cinematography. I also agree with Light Camera Jackson's opinion that the ending is a "a cop-out ending." Sorry for the spoiler, but I had to do it. I really hate those kind of endings. Plus, I also agree with Roger Ebert who wished for more social commentary, which would made it even more interesting. Does that mean that you should skip it? Nope.
            The directing awesome, the sets remind me of Metropolis, which is a high compliment, and it's so suspenseful that my knees were shaking all of the time. In fact, I'm very glad that Suzanne Collins co-wrote the script, for it always help if the original creator wrote the script. (It makes it more fun for the reviewers and audience.) But, my favorite part of this is the acting! All of the acting were great, and for some reason I was always interested with Elizabeth Bank's character, which I have no explanation for. Maybe because she looks good in those clothes.
          The real scene stealer is Jennifer Lawrence! She had the strongest acting and she was lovely and feisty as Katniss. Yet, she's got a heartbreaking side as she will do anything for her sister's survival. Plus, most reviewers/fans have noted that they knew that only she could pull the role off perfectly as Clark Gable did with Rhett Butler in Gone With The Wind.
        Note for those non fans , like me : This movie will not change your opinion of the books. It's just too disturbing/violent , and since most non fans have that idea, you will not be won over. However, there are exceptions , like my mom wants to know what happens next. So, that makes a fan who will probably see this movie for the 74th time. For non fans: May The Odds Ever Be In Your Favor.
    8/10

My new blog on classic cinema is up! :)

I won't spoil it by telling you what's on it, so go to http://matt-comicaltales.blogspot.com/. Enjoy! :)

Top 10 Worst Arthur Episodes Ever ,Part 2

Here's my top five worst episodes that Arthur have premiered on television. Enjoy!

Actually, it still is your fault that the Nostalgia Critic hates us

                      The Top Ten Worst Arthur Episodes Of All Time Continued
 #5.  I Owe You One ( 12-07) -  After learning about interest, Buster realizes that he owes his friends about a million favors, and he agrees to do them all for them. What a mess this episode turned out to be. For example, the characters teach kids about interest in a really sloppy way. Seriously!  I got so confused about interest while watching it, and it's nothing like that at all. Plus, if Buster is doing work for his friends, are they owing him money? Unfortunately , it doesn't answer it but raises another question; why does Buster always appear in the horrible ones?  I mean there's a lot of inconsistencies and boring plot lines in here that will put kids to sleep. If there weren't four more horrible ones, this would have been #1 already.
#4.  Nicked By A Name (14-03) The main reason why this episode sucks so badly is because it has no idea of what it wants to be. Does it want to be a quirky little episode about Brain giving all of his classmates new nicknames, thus giving him complete control of their lives or does it want to be another let's talk about bullying episode in which name calling hurts the soccer team? Without any sense of framing or set goals, a narrative can't fulfill the honor of telling a story as the plot will have no relevance to the viewer. Plus, Brain comes up with the most ridiculous names ever using an esoteric method from an advertising book. Don't laugh for I did the same thing in my pre-school class. Oh wait. I used my English to French dictionary to pick out nicknames for my classmates, not from an advertising book.
#3.  In My Africa (14-09)   Brian's cousin moves in from Africa, and D.W. is struggling to learn about the country. So, they decide to make a song about it! What's the point of this episode? Kids don't want another lesson in Africa, and the song doesn't make any reference to how they can help others there. Instead, it sugarcoats everything and makes Africa seems like an over educated gasbag. What a shame. This episode had so much potential but they messed it up with this silly song about Africa. Okay, the song's not as bad as others, but really we want life lessons from this show! Maybe this episode should have talked about moving problems or helping out others in Africa or getting used to one's cultural identity. Sadly, they decide to sing about Africa's wonders and deal with bullying which is a cliche in Arthur now. What a shame.
#2.  Whistling In The Wind (15-02)   Timmy Tibble is really upset because his brother can whistle while he can't. So how does he solve it? By punching the living daylights out of him so they can both get their middle tooth knocked out, involving them to whistle very badly. Whoa. Whoever thought that violence is acceptable in solving everyday problem, must be fired immediately because it really doesn't in real life. After all, they did do an episode on how to resolve conflicts peacefully. Remember? Now, they expect us to believe that revenge and violence will make you the same as him.What in the world are they they teaching kids? Maybe they should have taught to accept each other's differences. That way, they can't hurt each other, causing physical and social problems! Oh my gosh!
           The worst Arthur episode of all time is ........ Get Smart (16-04). The entire sixteenth season is just horrid to watch as there was a different company making them now. Unfortunately that same company also did Max And Ruby. Classy, guys. The sketchy animation is horrid, the "modern" storylines involving a ripoff of the I-Pad often don't work in the context of the show, the characters are unrecognizable, and the worse thing about the new season is that the creators don't care about their subject matter as they treat it if it was made for stupid little children. Even then stupid little children are smarter than what adults give them credit for. The one episode that really got under my skin and also made me give up on Arthur was Get Smart.  Oh my goodness, it's terrible. I don't know what they did to the show, but when you watch it, your childhood is officially over as one of the greatest shows ever has been brought down to levels of  unreachable stupidity that I won't ever forget as long as I live. Period. Just watch it on Youtube and you'll understand why I'm scarred for life. No, wait. Don't do it for you will be scarred for life as well. :(
       Remember the good old days when the script had life lessons that everyone could relate to, great wit, character depth, and realistic situations. Well, it's gone unless the staff goes back and re watch the classic episodes of Arthur, like Arthur's Eyes, D.W., The Picky Eater, and You Are Arthur. The reason why these episodes and hundreds like them were great was because the sophisticated and timeless themes remained relevant with its viewers even when they reached adulthood. Let's pray for Arthur's salvation from crap.

Top Ten Worst Arthur Episodes Of All Time Part 1

                 Now, I know that I'm supposed to do only movie reviews, but while I was looking up on my brand new computer, I checked out Arthur, one of my favorite T.V. shows of all time. To my surprise, PBS has decided to put some of the " Let's Talk To Some Kids" segments on its website. I felt so happy because they're finally recognizing why Arthur is a great show, and it's because of its honesty, originality, and humor. Tragically, they've been messing it up with horrible episodes, especially in the later seasons. So in honor of its 15th year, I decided to do a top ten on its worst episodes! Have fun.

Poor Arthur......

                      The Top Ten Worst Arthur Episodes Of All Time (Or In My Opinion)

 #10. Bleep (8-10)  D.W. overhears an angry teenager say a bad word in a store, causing her to investigate what that word means without getting herself into trouble. My major concern with this one isn't the messages or animation or writing, but the actual "bad words" themselves. Earlier in the episode, Arthur explains what the bleep means in television and then imagines what would happen if he had the bleep machine. So, basically all of the words that his friends are being bleeped aren't bad words, but they must be bad words for they are getting bleeped. What are you trying to teach kids? Then, after D.W. learns an actual bad word, ( censored), she says it a couple of times, and so does her friends. Oh come on, Arthur! Why can't you just use a word that's recognizable as a word that kids shouldn't say, but is okay not to be censored, like imbecile? This one made me very uncomfortable, seeing toddlers saying bad words in a kid's show. What the bleep! Sorry, I just wanted to make a point.
      # 9.Misfortune Teller ( 1 -23) In this one, Prunella's older sister, Rubella, gives a cootie catcher to her at-first snobby sister. ( She matured throughout the series.) However, all of the kids become possessed with it after some of its predictions come true. This episode seems like one that has a great message of living life, but I just found it pretty ridiculous and stupid that no one in real life would believe. Kids are smarter than adults take them for, and they know the difference between reality and fiction. Even if the predictions come true, they know better than to believe that it had something to do with it. ( Trying to have fun with guessing is the main reason why cootie catchers are still made, despite my hatred of it.) Also, I found the kids more meaner than all of the others. When Muffy tries to give Prunella her cootie catcher, the latter selfishly refuses it. What a mean jerk! Finally, there are more goofs in this episode, than in any other one. You can find them on http://arthur.wikia.com/wiki/Misfortune_Teller.  
#8.  To Eat Or Not To Eat ( 15-05) Buster is in the mood to munch down on the newest candy bar when he checks and tries to find out the ingredients in it, leading him deeper into a conspiracy. Despite its promising plot, it failed because of three reasons. 1) The mystery subplot in which Buster imagines himself as a detective from old movies. Aw come on, guys! He already is a detective! I also found it offensive since the whole sequence is in color, while most of the detective films of the olden days were filmed in black-and-white, which worked perfectly for the mood. If color was made for them, the mood would be dumb. Alas, this sequence is dumber since Buster's talking to a candy bar dressed and talking like a dame! He must be on drugs already. 2) We already know this information because most of America's shows did an investigation into ingredients. Also, we already know not to trust in ads from an earlier Arthur episode! 3) Kids don't care about the ingredients because they just want something to eat. Just look at any snack's ingredients and it's full of junk, but kids do eat it and don't mind it! Plus, Brian tells Buster that the candy includes some radioactive elements. If that was to happen, then everyone who eats it will get poisoned and die! Get some sense, Arthur!
#7.  Buster The Lounge Lizard (15-04)  Buster brings his toy into school, but since it's highly sensitive to all five senses, it somehow gets into the teacher's lounge. Then, they try to get it back, which I still don't get it. I mean why they can't just ask the teachers to search in there in the first place. This episode raises a lot of other questions. 1) How in the world did Buster's toy become highly sensitive?!?   2) If Binky only wanted to help to get his toy back, is he becoming a bully? 3) If Mr. Ratburn can give that toy back, why didn't he give back the phones, and all other toys back? After all, they were also highly sensitive! 4) If Mr. Ratburn explained that teachers are normal people in Mr. Ratburn Moves In, why do the kids still imagine them as weird beings? This show must have Alzheimer's, otherwise it would remember this piece of logic. Sadly, none of these questions are answered, and there are still lots of other questions on my mind about this stupid episode, but I will not go on my rant ,yet.
#6.   Buster's Best Behavior (4-09)  Buster wants to be someone else, and Arthur wants to be like Buster. Ironically, they get everyone really piss... I mean frustrated..... about their behaviors, so they learned to be yourself. Aw come on, you guys. We already did this throughout the entire series, and all of them are better than this poor excuse of an Arthur episode. In fact, I'm going to borrow from and give credit to Arthur Wiki. After all, you're borrowing from everything else! Take the script for example, as it gives out sparkling dialogue as this: "Wow, you guys really beat us!"  How about this:  "Wow! My really good lines are now replaced by ones that could make the writers get fired. Great one, guys." I mean, come on! You could have done something really better than that really dumb line! It also can take the place of a Lars Von Trier's film with its depressing storyline. Okay, they don't die, but I feel miserable from watching the characters suffering unfair punishments. Buster's whole entire life is dedicated to "telling jokes", while Arthur's life is summed up as "going on and on about sisters and pet dog." Wow, life is really rewarding them. Not!
       I'm coming up with the top five worst Arthur episode ever, so stay tuned!

My opnions on the Oscars!

Last night, I prayed that the Oscars didn't suck like last time, which was painful to watch, except for the winners. Luckily, Hollywood learned its lesson for it did an entertaining look at why the movies are so important, while giving out some great wins.
The feel of the entire show was magical, as everyone pulled it off with wit, charm, and finally great presenters and hosting. Last year, I thought I would look at the show in shame, for the hosts,(Anne and James), really sucked. However, Billy ruled the night and restored my hopes. He's the perfect host. He can act,dance,sing,and make the audience laugh and cry @ the same time. Though the music destroyed his opening tribute to the nominees, his grace saved the day.
Just as the host improved greatly, so did the presenters. In fact, everything improved. (Except for the microphones.) From the interviews on how to make a great film to the circus performance, and even the brief cameos of the dog and the Muppet reminded me of the good old days, when we actually cared about the Oscars. (Even though I saw those on YouTube.)
I was also happy for the winners, even though I was pretty pissed off that I lost to my brother's girlfriend. (I got 13 right, while she got 15 right.) Here's my thoughts on the winners:
Best Score: Even though I'm happy for The Artist, I do have to point out that it uses a lot of Vertigo in there. I remembered that last year that they prevented True Grit from entering in because it had used some old hymns. If The Artist can win even if it uses Vertigo for nearly 1/3 of the score, why can't True Grit at least got a nomination?
Best Song: I'm very happy about The Muppets winning.
Best Original Screenplay: I'm very happy about Woody Allen winning for the awesome adaptation of Midnight In Paris.
Best Adapted Screenplay: Roger Ebert's smarter than me, for I picked Moneyball instead of The Descendants.
Best Foreign Film: I'm very happy about A Separation, so now i can see it.
Best Visual Effects: Don't be pushy with me. Even though The Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes looks great, Hugo's effects were stupendous, as it gathered four other awards in the visuals department.
Best Documentary: I have no idea why Buck wasn't nominated, but I still got it wrong when The Undefeated won.
Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer won as everyone predicted, so he finally got one, and everyone used him like a free space. So, it was a win-win for everyone. Yay!
Best Supporting Actress: Octavia, you rock! Your scene stealing performance in The Help got you an Oscar! :)
Best Animated Film: Rango won, which adds to the growing list of why I should see it. Oh why haven't I checked this one out!?!
Best Director: Michel's brilliant direction amazingly won over the Academy as they gave him his first Academy Award. What a great award for a great movie. Hint. Hint.
Best Actress: This was the biggest surprise as I excepted Viola Davis to win, but was I surprised to learn that Meryl Streep won for The Iron Lady. Even though I'm happy that she doesn't have to sit through another show without winning, I'm really upset that Viola didn't get her deserved award. :(
Best Actor: Even though I was tragically devastated about Viola not winning, I was thrilled about when Jean won Best Actor, becoming the first French actor to win Best Actor, and he deserved it, my bon amis. (I think that's how you say good friends. I think. Never mind, let me just write my good friends.)
Best Picture: 2011 was a great year for movies, except for the ones that sucked. However, most of the nine Best Picture nominees were great. ( Okay, I've seen only seven, but give me a break.) However, there must be only one winner, and the winner is Winnie The Pooh! Just kidding. It was The Artist, which is one of my favorite movies of all time. Have a good day, but did you know that The Artist is the first silent film to win Best Picture since the 1st ceremony began. Congrats to all of the winners. :)

P.S.  I am still grieving about my loss , but at least  I did get one of the short films right! Yes! :)

The Oscars Predictions

Hi there! I'm so sorry that you haven't heard from me since my last review, but things have been really busy this past month. But luckily, tonight's the night to learn which films will be taking the gold. That's right. Tonight's the Oscars! It will be on ABC @ 7pm for the red carpet and all. ( Sorry, ONCE UPON A TIME fans, but it will not be on tonight on ABC.)
Enough of me chattering. Here's my predictions on who will win the Oscars.
Best Picture: The Artist. Just because it's a great movie. Period.
Best Actor: Let's just wait a second. Still stuck between Clooney and Jean.
Best Actress: Viola Davis for her brilliant performance in the Help.
Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer's is the shoe in for this, but it could be an upset if Jonah Hill wins.
Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer for The Help. The reason is because she's just awesome as Minnie.
Best Director: I have to say sorry to Martin Scorese. Even though you won Best Director @ the Golden Globes, Michel Hazanavicius for his masterpiece, The Artist, will win. Sorry, but I did enjoy your film, Hugo.
Best Actor: Finally, I've come up with one. The winner will be Jean because he's awesome. However, I will not be surprised if George wins.
Note: I will write my reviews for the rest of the nominees this week. :)